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The Mushroom

Increasing number of teenagers failing to connect
with society, world

LUNE, ASGRAK - A recent intensive study conducted at the Lune Research Center concludes that an increasing number of teenagers feel detached from the world (such as becoming unresponsive to authorities and refusing to take responsibility for their actions) and these results have left the study's researchers baffled.

"It's a strange phenomenon that takes place during those formative years where teenagers decide whether they would like to be world saviors or townspeople," said lead Lune Research Center researcher, Coral Fang, "Their apathy towards society and decorum is much stronger than it used to be. But I want them to know that I know what it's like. With a name like mine, I used to think I was going to get into a Berzerker class, or at least become a Fist Monk, and I trained everywhere and on everyone."

Two teens do a battle pose
Above: Two teenagers do a battle pose. Later they plan to check into an inn and save.

Fang recalled the trouble he would get into as a teenager, but said it was nothing compared to what is going on with today's teenagers, whose days are restless as they wait for monsters to appear and for an evil presence to threaten the world. To sate their boredom, they spend an unhealthy amount of time looking into treasure chests, breaking barrels, and going behind store counters.

"I don't know how many times I've told them that if they want to buy something, they should talk to me on the other side of the counter," said Brooka Prescein, owner of a popular Lune drug store, "But they never listen and they snoop around, looking for treasure chests that I keep back there, and they wait for an event that causes me to leave my post, like needing to go take a shit."

The modern youth's refusal to accept responsibility for their actions is often supported by claims that they no longer feel that they are in control of their body, as though guided by fate or possessed by some otherworldly force. Long time residents of Lune agree that influxes of such claims usually occur when the bad guys are gaining in power, and passes when they are defeated.

"He used to be such a good kid," said Prescein about her teenage son, "But it was when he became a teenager, around the same time the Sylvient Emprire finished constructing their Magi-Cannon, that something went screwy in his mind. Now he just goes around the area examining everything. What does he expect to find? He's only lived here for thirteen years."

Some parents, such as Gard Maxit, an out of work bathroom remodeler, are using their children's desire to defeat evil as a means to get them to focus on immediate responsibilities.

"Ever since my daughter [Evealyn, 15] got into her head she was destined to use black magic for justice, she just dresses Goth and forgets to feed the cat," said Maxit, "So I said, 'Look, no overlord is going to take some punk kid seriously if she doesn't even have the discipline to clean her room, mow the lawn, or bathe more regularly."

The Mushroom is intended as entertainment and for readers over 18.  © 2004 Got Next